I am currently letting tears flow freely down my freshly re-made up eyes and cheeks because I am a firm believer in the power of waterproof mascara. I see everyone around me having kids and I see how happy they are, and I stop and think to myself, am I making a mistake by actually trying to     better myself with a continued education and part time job rather than dropping out to find a guy to knock me up? I mean, honestly. Originally, teen mom and 16 and pregnant were original shows because teen pregnancy was a bit of an isolated incident. And now, not being pregnant and or having a kid by the age of 20 is becoming the minority. Watching Sarah's reaction to finding out the sex of her baby was painful for me in more ways then one. It made me realize that I've gotten old. Older,atleast. I remember when we used to just sit on her trampoline and talk under the stars. Or when we sat around playing Mall Madness, or watched Fall Out Boy music videos. It also made me realize that we've grown apart, and for different reasons. She moved, I went to college, she got engaged, I swore off relationships, and I became a "stick in the mud" as some might say, while others may argue that I didn't become this metaphorical stick,or wet blanket, but that I matured properly like I was supposed to and I became a well-rounded, intellectual, and genuine person. While it seems like Sarah just stayed the exact same way...and I feel old, and boring because of this. I feel old, boring, and slightly empty because I feel as though I'm missing out on something exciting and new, but I know I'm not. I know better than to think that, but I still can't help but feel this way. I can't honestly believe that I'm sitting here, crying over the fact that I'm bettering myself by going to college instead of virtually ending my life at age 19. Oh, how I wish I had used my waterproff mascara at Allison Kelley's funeral. It would have saved me some tear tracks down my perfectly made up face.